As a relationship expert and coach, I’m continuously being asked, “Why do people
cheat?” Truth be told, not everyone deceives their partner in such a way, but emotional
and physical affairs do occur, especially among married couples, more often than some
people think. In fact people who cheat do so for various reasons, like boredom, not
feeling emotionally connected to their partner, feeling neglected, disrespected or not
being satisfied sexually. In fact, numerous experts suggest the motivation to cheat
differs by gender, suggesting men cheat purely for sexual satisfaction, while a women ‘s
motivation to cheat is purely emotional. While that may be true, I’ve found, based on 90
percent of the couples I’ve counseled, both men and women equally expressed being
dissatisfied in their relationship, emotionally and physically, which lead them to stray.
Truth is, there are underlying issues that cause people to experience these negative
feelings that often lead to affairs. Let’s face it, people who choose to be in committed
relationships don’t just wake up one morning and decide to cheat on their partner, unless
they suffer from a sexual addiction (to learn more about sexual addiction, please click
here). Ultimately, the reason why so many people have affairs is because their
relationship lacks polarity.
What I’m about to say will most likely upset many feminist today, but, as someone who
holds a PhD in Cognitive Behavior Therapy, who’s also a proud feminist, I assure you,
this has nothing to do with gender or being heterosexual or homosexual, but instead has
everything to do with a person’s energy. You see, in order for a relationship to thrive
with peace, love, harmony and insatiable sex, there must be balance. One person must
have feminine energy while the other has masculine energy—think the Chinese
philosophy of Ying and Yang—when two opposite energies find one another and join
together they create complimentary energies (a whole) that can’t exist without one
another. If two people in a relationship have the same energy (both masculine or both
feminine) the relationship will suffer. There will be an emotional and physical
disconnect and someone will eventually have an affair with a polar opposite (the yin to
their yang). Every one of us, men and women, have varying degrees of both masculine
and feminine energy — but one is naturally dominant inside you. It’s so important for us
to cultivate and embrace our energy, so that we can enjoy healthy, loving and satisfying
relationships… minus the cheating.
Dr. Elena Eustache has a PhD in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Please follow Dr.
Eustache, relationship expert to the stars, and your encyclopedia of love, on Instagram,
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