As a relationship expert and coach, I’m continuously being asked, “Why do people

cheat?” Truth be told, not everyone deceives their partner in such a way, but emotional

and physical affairs do occur, especially among married couples, more often than some

people think. In fact, people who cheat do so for various reasons, like boredom, not

feeling emotionally connected to their partner, feeling neglected, disrespected or not

being satisfied sexually. In fact, numerous experts suggest the motivation to cheat

differs by gender, suggesting men cheat purely for sexual satisfaction, while a women ‘s

motivation to cheat is purely emotional. While that may be true, I’ve found, based on 90

percent of the couples I’ve counseled, both men and women equally expressed being

dissatisfied in their relationship, emotionally and physically, which lead them to stray.

Truth is, there are underlying issues that cause people to experience these negative

feelings that often lead to affairs. Let’s face it, people who choose to be in committed

relationships don’t just wake up one morning and decide to cheat on their partner unless

they suffer from a sexual addiction (to learn more about sexual addiction, please click

here). Ultimately, the reason why so many people have affairs is that their

relationship lacks polarity.

What I’m about to say will most likely upset many feminist today, but, as someone who

holds a PhD in Cognitive Behavior Therapy, who’s also a proud feminist, I assure you,

this has nothing to do with gender or being heterosexual or homosexual, but instead has

everything to do with a person’s energy. You see, in order for a relationship to thrive

with peace, love, harmony and insatiable sex, there must be a balance. One person must

have feminine energy while the other has masculine energy—think the Chinese

philosophy of Ying and Yang—when two opposite energies find one another and join

together they create complimentary energies (a whole) that can’t exist without one

another. If two people in a relationship have the same energy (both masculine or both

feminine) the relationship will suffer. There will be an emotional and physical

disconnect and someone will eventually have an affair with a polar opposite (the yin to

their yang). Every one of us, men and women, have varying degrees of both masculine

and feminine energy — but one is naturally dominant inside you. It’s so important for us

to cultivate and embrace our energy so that we can enjoy healthy, loving and satisfying

relationships… minus the cheating.

Dr. Elena Eustache has a PhD in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Please follow Dr.

Eustache, relationship expert to the stars, and your encyclopedia of love, on Instagram,

where you’ll receive daily relationship tips from Dr Eustache and her celebrity guest.